You & Me

I need to practice obedience.

And

I need to practice patience.

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I hate the feeling of confusion, especially when I feel it about every aspect of my life. It makes living difficult, and it makes being myself difficult.

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[I loved you more then you'll ever know]

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I know who I want to be, and how I want to be, but I don't know how to be who I want to be. The confusion stirs up these weird and awkward feelings and it changes my thought process so that I'm not thinking clearly. When I sit and concentrate on God, it starts to make sense and I can deal with it, but during the confusion, it's hard to remember God and to think about thinking about Him. It's hard to stop being confused and focus. The feelings take over and that weird pain feeling comes back and messes up all normality in my head.

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Hanging onto things from the past is a bad idea, because life moves forward, not backwards. What has happened already can't happen again. Those moments you waited for are over and the moments you are now waiting for, will be over soon. I hang onto strange things from the past, certain people I shouldn't and it confuses me. Times that were great, but that ended horribly, I hang onto the great parts and try to ignore the horrible. That doesn't work though, because the horrible did happen and there's nothing you can do to change it. Well sure, people can change, but life moves forward and now I'm here, and they're there. I'm here. They're there. How did we get here?

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[All I know is it's another day now]

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I'm so glad that amongst all the change and the confusion in my life, God is and will always be constant. Whenever I need a dose of reality, I can just call on Him and he'll put it into perspective for me. I just need to learn to call on Him more often.