Absentminded Melody

This is a blog post I wrote in August of 2007... I love it so much!

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"I honestly believe with every inch of my heart... that me and you are meant for amazing things."

I've lived the past five years in a haze... perhaps a Purple Haze, Jimi seems to sum it up perfectly. I wandered around in a fog, met incredible people who quite possibly I gave too much credit to, but still, I am Me because of who they were. Through the seasons I learned more about myself, what amazed me and filled my mind with excitement and anticipation. Weekend shows at tiny hall venues, crazy kids with black hair and metal studs on their homemade jackets. Their passion for the music created a passion inside of me that to this day I have troubles figuring out. Was it the fact that they didn't care, about anything or anyone, or that they just knew how to get the most out of the life they'd been given. Winter walks down an artists avenue. Beggars on the corner, some true, some not. Steam from my hot chocolate and seeing the breath of everyone walking by, this avenue created life, it inspired and pushed for something more. The obvious was hidden... life is about adventure, and I'm starting to see that. Back alleys filled our grey skies, the perfect days in our eyes. We knew there was something more, we felt it from the moment we met. To this day we know there is something else out there, something greater meant for our lives... we've come so far yet we can't believe that this is it. There's no way. Watching the river, the city continue to grow and live, sitting and wondering what this was all about, why, should this be it? No one ever met face to face with their dreams, sitting and wishing. The wind is something incredible, it does something deep inside your ear as it blows by. It's like a whisper telling you where it's been is not where it's going. Maybe we should listen more closely as the wind blows. Blank pages are filled with stories and the breeze fills you with anticipation to read on. For me, I've moved on to new pages, leaving all the rest to burn behind me and in me, but I've learned something. Life is about change, life is about dreams and finding out who you are. You will never know who you are, why things happen, why you meet certain people until your last breath, cuz at that point you've made it as far as you can, and you can look back at the person you've created yourself to be. My heart belongs to the idea of uncertainty and time and that no matter how much you long to know, you never will until you create it. You create your future just as much as you create your past. The here and now is all there is. The tomorrows and yesterdays are all just memories. I can't wait until the day I stand face to face with my Jesus and he tells me I've lived my life to the fullest and that I did an ok job. Until then, I'll just keep learning, wishing and following the wind.