Flippin The Pages

The camera on my laptop obviously shoots the mirror image... so my text is backwards.... but it gets the point across I'm sure.

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I've been reading this book called 'Your Secrets Sleep With Me' and it's by a Toronto author named Darren O'Donnell. It's the most tripped out book I've ever read. It's taking me a long time too, because the content is somewhat disturbing at times. So why am I reading it you ask? Well, because it's interesting and forces me to pay attention to something. There are a bunch of characters, most of them are under the age of 16. They all live in Toronto and talk about the weirdest topics... topics that people of their age shouldn't even know about. But at the same time, their dialogue fits so well with who their characters are. Where they've grown up, the 'homes' they live in and the things their eyes have been exposed to... it's really uncomfortable and somewhat guilt-tripping. Maybe you should read it.

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I've also been reading 'Serve God Save The Planet' by J. Matthew Sleeth. This one is good too, but a completely different kind of read. It's on the green kick, but I really like it because it talks about going green from a Christian cleansing kind of way. It's more on saving yourself and the earth benefiting from it. Along with that, I'm also reading (I know, I have like 6 books on the go, but they're all different so it's easy to follow along.) 'Generation Green' by Linda Silvertsen and Tosh Silvertsen (Married? Brother and sister? Both female? I have no idea... that's just how their names are printed on the front) and this one is more from an environmentalist stand. I'm really intrigued by the 'Green' movement and totally want to jump on board. Easier said then done though...

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Confession time... I bought 'Twilight'... yup, that's right.... the vampire-esc new cult fav that everyone and their aunt is reading. Jenn and I bought it because we want to know what the hype is all about, but it's 498 pages (though really large print), and I'm not much into vampires. We'll see though. I'll give you a star rating if I ever finish. We'll see if Stephenie Meyer is actually on to something...

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My father and I are going to study Romans.
My mother and I are going to study Ezekiel.
Jenn and I are going to study Matthew - John.
After that I really want to study Acts, Job, Song of Songs, Psalms, Ecclesiastes, all those really tiny 2-pagers.... yea... I want to study it all. The whole Bible. But not just read it, really study it. Know it for more then just fancy words on a page. And I want to study it from all translations, including 'The Word on The Street' by Rob Lacey.

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On the bookshelf:
'Three Cups of Tea' by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
'Jesus For Presedent' by Shane Claiborne (started it, but putting it on hold)
'The Shack' by William P. Young
'The Prayer Experiment' by Jay Dennis
'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis
'A Novel' by Andy Warhol

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If you have any to recommend... please do :) Or, if you have any comments on any of the books above, please leave those too.

Absentminded Melody

This is a blog post I wrote in August of 2007... I love it so much!

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"I honestly believe with every inch of my heart... that me and you are meant for amazing things."

I've lived the past five years in a haze... perhaps a Purple Haze, Jimi seems to sum it up perfectly. I wandered around in a fog, met incredible people who quite possibly I gave too much credit to, but still, I am Me because of who they were. Through the seasons I learned more about myself, what amazed me and filled my mind with excitement and anticipation. Weekend shows at tiny hall venues, crazy kids with black hair and metal studs on their homemade jackets. Their passion for the music created a passion inside of me that to this day I have troubles figuring out. Was it the fact that they didn't care, about anything or anyone, or that they just knew how to get the most out of the life they'd been given. Winter walks down an artists avenue. Beggars on the corner, some true, some not. Steam from my hot chocolate and seeing the breath of everyone walking by, this avenue created life, it inspired and pushed for something more. The obvious was hidden... life is about adventure, and I'm starting to see that. Back alleys filled our grey skies, the perfect days in our eyes. We knew there was something more, we felt it from the moment we met. To this day we know there is something else out there, something greater meant for our lives... we've come so far yet we can't believe that this is it. There's no way. Watching the river, the city continue to grow and live, sitting and wondering what this was all about, why, should this be it? No one ever met face to face with their dreams, sitting and wishing. The wind is something incredible, it does something deep inside your ear as it blows by. It's like a whisper telling you where it's been is not where it's going. Maybe we should listen more closely as the wind blows. Blank pages are filled with stories and the breeze fills you with anticipation to read on. For me, I've moved on to new pages, leaving all the rest to burn behind me and in me, but I've learned something. Life is about change, life is about dreams and finding out who you are. You will never know who you are, why things happen, why you meet certain people until your last breath, cuz at that point you've made it as far as you can, and you can look back at the person you've created yourself to be. My heart belongs to the idea of uncertainty and time and that no matter how much you long to know, you never will until you create it. You create your future just as much as you create your past. The here and now is all there is. The tomorrows and yesterdays are all just memories. I can't wait until the day I stand face to face with my Jesus and he tells me I've lived my life to the fullest and that I did an ok job. Until then, I'll just keep learning, wishing and following the wind.

Slow Like Honey

Life doesn't always give you what you want... it usually gives you better.

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I was at the school today and came across two options for school ministry and Christian fellowship. That was exciting. I'm going to check them both out. One thing I was missing last year was the opportunity to minister to people that needed to hear about Jesus, and also being ministered to by enthusiastic Jesus freaks like Emily. I really want God to be the center of every one of my days... I know things will work out a lot better for me if I do everything based around Him.

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I remembered today that I will have a friend going to the same college as me... Steve Vincent! , He moved to Calgary last year and now has come out here again to go to Algonquin. So that's pretty sweet. It'll be nice to have a buddy at church and at school. Steve's cool :)

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Hahaha I went to get my student ID today and the picture they took of me is hilarious! Not only does my head look super small and my body super big, but it's so dark that you have to really look at it to see anything. They literally sat me under a stairwell. As a photography student I felt like I should say something, but I didn't. So now I have a really funny student ID. I also got my bus ID which isn't much better, but at least you can see me.

I realized how patient I've become over this summer... we waited in line forEVER to get my bus ID, but I was calm the whole time haha

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"How could, anybody, deny you"

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I feel like I have a big burst of potential inside of me and sitting here right now is killing me. There are so many things I want to do...
I want to travel the world finding the prettiest places on earth.
I want to paint a masterpiece and display it in a foreign art gallery.
I want to go to a giant concert and dance till my feet cry.
I want to swing so high at the park that I can touch the clouds.
I want to meet a new person right now.
I want to tell everyone I know, exactly what I think of them... whether it be good or bad.
I want to braid the longest rope and wrap it around the moon so I can climb up and watch the world from a birds-eye view.
I want to challenge you to a chocolate milk drinking contest.
I want to listen to the full Elvis Presley discography - backwards.
I want to drink a whole pot of tea with a bee and his honey.
I want to shoot the next controversial image on the cover of National Geographic.
I want to write a song and I want it to be sung by Chris Martin.
I want to read the entire encyclopedia of Photography.
I want to tell you that you belong with me, not swallowed in the sea.
I want to say something that will change the course of history.
I want to say something that will change the course of your history.
I want to step on all the lines on the sidewalk.
I want to eat Fiona's Apple.

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I suppose I should stop wanting and appreciate the moment.

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Perhaps you should listen to Fiona Apple though... she reminds me of happiness and great summer memories...

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Lights Will Guide You Home

So now I'm home. The summer of fun freedom is over and real life starts all over again. This time I'm starting with a different outlook though. I've made some big decisions, set my heart on big things and learned that life doesn't always give you what you think you want. 

Life is full of surprises.

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I'm sleeping on a small patch of carpet on my bedroom floor tonight... well, at least that was the plan. It's 1:55 and I have yet to fall asleep. I'm in the process of moving back in, and it seems I've accumulated a lot of stuff over the summer. 

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I'm excited to meet new people and make even more new friends once school starts. I love meeting new people and I think my shy-syndrome has become less paralyzing this summer. The fun thing about going to school for photography is that the majority of the friends I will make will also really love photography - and there aren't too many things more attractive then a boy with a camera ;) So for those reasons I am very excited to get going. But seriously though, it is going to be so nice to be able to talk 'camera' for once. And to be able to spend time with people that appreciate the beauty in small things. 

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I'm getting serious about Snapbird too. My dad hates that name, but I really like it. Snapbird Photography... yay, nay? I'm going to register my name soon and get a business number and start up my portable studio. 

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My brother is the coolest. 

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Ever do something you wish you could reverse? Sometimes results turn out better in my head then they do in real life. But you live and learn, right? I know what not to do again...

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I'm so tired, but I can't concentrate on sleep! I want my bed so bad, but I accidentally covered it in... everything... and now there's no room for me. I have Coldplay stuck in my head, Serena fell asleep on me and my new Mac is so fascinating (and expensive... a thousand dollars more expensive then I was planning on actually). I miss Emily next to me at night and always, Will making me laugh, and well, Cameron just being Cameron. I really want to go back to Picton... that one day... you know, the really good one when it seemed like we were the only ones left on earth. 

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... I was swinging with Logan today and she inspired me so many times. She's the wisest eleven year old I know. I wish I could be more like her...

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I'm going to go watch an episode of 'Flight of The Conchords' ... I bought that, season 2 of 'Arrested Development' (they didn't have season 1 in my price range) ooo and season 6 of '24'! I'm excited for that. I also bought 'Once'.... 

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Enough chatter... this wasn't inspirational at all. 

A Message

My song is love
Love to the loveless, shown
And it goes up
You don't have to be alone

Your heavy heart
Is made of stone
And its so hard to see you clearly
You don't have to be on your own
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
Well I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
Your the target that I'm aiming at
And I get that message home

My song is love
My song is love, unknown
And I'm on fire for you, clearly
You don't have to be alone
You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that
Your the target that I'm aiming at
But I'm nothing on my own
Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait
Not gonna leave it until its much too late
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say
That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home

My song is love, is love unknown
And I've got to get that message home


Coldplay - 'X&Y'

Runnin Through My Head

Wow... the summer is almost over!! Just a couple more weeks and then I'm headed back to Ottawa. I think I'm going to feel holy/holey when I get back...

Holy: The Lord has really changed my life around since the beginning of my summer adventures. He's helped me really become myself and realize my potential. I have a new outlook on life, have some totally rad plans for my future and he's put the coolest friends in my life that influence me all in the right ways.

Holey: I've been feeling homesick a lot of the summer... but I know that I'm going to feel homesick for Emily and Serena, Cameron and Will once I get back home. Ugh! They are just the COOLEST! I so love them :D I can't get enough of them.

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This is really the first time that I've felt like I've had ultimate privacy since the summer started. I've got Capstone in my ears playing a wonderful Step By Step/I'll Do My Best medley, the lights are perfectly dimmed and there's a sweet ambiance that clearly reveals God in the room.

"God you are my God,
And I will ever praise you."

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I've decided to give the '365: A Year of Total Surrender' another try. I'm going to revise and start over... I put too many pressures on myself this past year that ended up in rebellion against myself and God. A big part in becoming one with Christ is also becoming one with myself.

1. Watching who I spend all my time with - who is feeding my crave?
2. Paying more attention to how I treat my body - not only being careful what I put into my body, but also what I let touch my body... or whom.
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" SS 8:4
3. Dive into the Word!! - The Bible is so jam packed with greatness.... I neeeeed to delve into it more and pick it apart until the pages are crammed with notes of revelation and truth.... and then start over and pick it apart through different, more experienced eyes
4. "Lift You high, bow down low" - I need to lift God above all the wants and desires of my heart. From tithing to casting my burdens.
5. Get more involved in the ministry... this summer has reignited my passion for the Fight. I can't keep sitting around and wasting time... God didn't call me to be a freelancing photographer... I'm workin for Him :)
6. Morning devos AND evening devos - take that for dedication :P Seriously though, filling my mind with peace before I begin my day and ending my day with peace before I sleep... it will really help me to Cleanse...
7. Weekly devotion with a friend... having a friend to study with will totally widen my experience

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I'm seriously considering transferring to Ryerson University in the big city of Toronto.... see how much I've grown? I always said I would NEVER live in TO... and I always said I'd NEVER go to University.... I'm learning not to sell myself short :) I can do it!

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I can't wait to put my new portfolio together :) I've taken a lot of really great shots this summer and I know it's going to be super strong. I've had lots of great inspiration, opportunities and models haha

Photography is so... so.... photography is so _______! I can't even explain how much I love it.

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"We live in a beautiful world"