Surrender All

God spoke to me this summer - a few times. And it took a lot for me to be quieted and able to listen. When my parents told me they had been transferred out of Edmonton, I made the decision to stay behind. Nothing was going to convince me to move. At least, that's what I told myself. But God had other plans. I distinctly remember him telling me, "You're going, and there's nothing you can do about it". Strangely enough, I was OK with it. In that moment, I knew, God told me and I had to obey.

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So the weeks went by and I prepared for my move. I've never been an advocate for change, but deep down I was excited. I knew I needed things to be different in many aspects of my life. I just wasn't content with where I was headed. The day we drove away I can remember feeling harsh pain in my heart, but relief in my entire body. Leaving what I knew, what I loved... I've moved before and it was never easy, but this time it was different. A different connection or something.

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Leaving my brother was the most difficult part. Our family has always been a tight unit, we needed each other to survive, it was always us against the world and we were losing an integral part of our team. Putting my faith in God at that moment was all I could do to drive away without dieing of heartache. I love my brother more then life.

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So our journey began. Five days on the road from Edmonton to Ottawa. Back to Ontario, back to the beginning. We arrived in Ottawa on the last day of June, a Saturday. Our new house was new to the army and had no furniture so we went to Wal*Mart and bought blow up mattresses to sleep on. Mine deflated within the first hour, but it was OK, it was an adventure, and I knew soon enough my blankets and teddy bear would be arriving.... well, that was the plan anyway.

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Our moving truck was supposed to arrive on the Tuesday at eight o'clock in the morning. We waited and waited and finally at about twelve o'clock my dad decided to call the company and find out where they were. A lady answered and my dad asked why they hadn't arrived yet and she said she would call back in a few minutes. An hour or so later, we got the call that changed our lives forever.

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On July 1st a pick-up truck was traveling down a highway in Winnipeg and collided with a moving truck. It hit the gas tank and exploded, sending flames down the trailer of the truck and igniting the whole vehicle. The drivers jumped and ran for safety and stood watching the truck burn. It burnt for two hours before firemen could arrive at the scene and begin to extinguish the flames. The damage was complete. Nothing remained of the truck except a melted frame stuck to the pavement.

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Two days later we're told that story. That was our moving truck. Everything we owned we packed up and placed on board. Two days later we found out. Two days after it happened. And only because we called to find out where they were.

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It's been two months since the accident. We've spent the past two months trying to figure out what had happened and why. Why. Why.

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This unfortunate turn of events inspired me, and yet again I heard God speak to me clearly. "You have to give it all. Stop holding onto baggage, stop holding onto the things of the world. You need to put your full trust in me. I won't let you down."

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Project 365 was born. I planned a year of full surrender and Jesus Cleansing. Body, mind, spirit. I have a full year ahead of me with no plans at all other then to work and save. I didn't get in to school because I applied too late, and even though at the time I found that out I was devastated, now I look at it as something great and exciting. I have a full year to do whatever I want. No homework or stresses to clog my mind, just me and Jesus, for 365 days.

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I'm very excited for it and I'm dedicated and determined to pull through. I'm still not positive on how it will turn out or what crazy things will happen, but I'm so excited to experience the amazing power of God when I learn to Surrender All.

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Please pray for me. I'm sacrificing a lot to accomplish what I'd like to. I know God is with me and is helping me along everyday, but being human, it's tough to disconnect myself from the evils and damaging things of the world, whether it be in thoughts, actions or words. I'm so determined and so excited.

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Thank you for your support.

:) Shel