I'll Do My Best

I've been feeling this weird feeling over these last few days. I'm not sure I quite understand it. It hurts, I know that, but I don't know why. And it's kind of, well, all over my heart. But I don't understand because these past few weeks have been really awesome. I'm becoming really great friends with some youth at church and I feel like I fit in. Well, most of the time I feel like it. I don't know. It's strange. God definitely is my comfort while I feel like this, but it still hurts. I'm asking Him what the feeling means and I have a feeling it's a mixture of stuff.

---

It just really literally hurts.

---

I woke up this morning ready to throw up. I couldn't though because I was playing bass for Allison at the women's brunch. I got to the church and was totally out of it, kinda dizzy and definitely feeling nasty in my stomach. It went away when the youth showed up at Ryan's for the Amazing Race, but it came back again soon after. And now it really hurts.

---

My heart and my stomach.

---

I think my mommy is on the phone right now :)

You Are The Soverign I Am!

So it's been awhile since I've blogged, but that doesn't mean I've been slacking. In fact, I've seen myself grow a lot in these past few days and weeks.

---

I think the biggest and most beautiful revolution is that I've realized that God is still alive in the hearts of young people! The revolution doesn't lay in the fact that I've realized this but the fact that it's true. I've been so inspired by my youth and by youth that I've been talking to recently and I praise God for His work and His love. I'm so in love with Him and when I see Him in the eyes of my friends, my heart swells with joy and excitement.

---

On Sunday Simon talked about the Transformation of the Mind and I think that's huge in the process of giving all to God.

-

Renewing Your Mind:

- God's word

- Prayer

- Worship

-

Conform or Transform?

- Our minds have to be prepared for action

- We have to be critical thinkers and discipline our minds

- Get ready for battle

-

Philippians 4:8-9

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

-

A Mind Challenge:

- Spend 15 minutes a day for one month reading the Bible

- Quietly listen to God for 10 minutes each morning for 2 weeks

---

When God is the center of your life, happiness truely takes over. Ever since I started 365, I've been happy. Yea, I've had my stressful days, but that's normal. I've been stepping out of my comfort zone, which is totally unlike me, but I've been rewarded for it. I think that God wants us to step out of our comfort zone. How else are we supposed to grow and learn? We'll become stronger and more outgoing people if we do. And we need to be outgoing to be successful for Christ. Don't let your fears take hold of you, because wherever you go, God has already gone ahead of you to prepare the path for you.

Praise Our God, For He Is Good

My heart was touched tonight after talking with a friend from camp. Him and his girlfriend created a website stating their faith in Jesus Christ and proclaiming that our God is an awesome God. It's such a beautiful site and I know it's going to touch a lot of lives. With their spirit in their high school, so many people will meet God and I think that is so incredible. Please check out their website and keep them in your prayers.

http://www.freewebs.com/alivenetwork/

---

God is everlasting and ever present. He blows my mind everyday. I thank Him for his patience with me. My plans for this year are very challenging and at times I'm feeling like giving up. Giving up already and it hasn't even been a month. It's just hard to think about Him every moment of every day when I live in such a wrecked and broken world. Hate and sin just fill the air around me, and a lot of the time it overwhelms me. When I remember Jesus though, it's a beautiful feeling of calmness and relief and peace. As long as I can remember to think of Jesus and His commitment to me, I know I can return the commitment and continue to grow into the Christian I want to be.

Transformation - A New Heart

by Capt. Simon Downey

Letting God change you from the inside out

---

Ezekiel 36:24-29

24 " 'For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. 25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. 28 You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God. 29 I will save you from all your uncleanness. I will call for the grain and make it plentiful and will not bring famine upon you.

---

1. I can't change what is wrong on the outside until I first change what is wrong on the inside. (vs 25)

2. I can't change what is wrong on the inside without God changing me. (vs 26)

3. When God changes my heart I become more ready to live the way he intended. (vs 27)

4. When God changes my heart he shifts my attention from dealing with the problem to building relationship with the Father. (vs 28)

5. When God changes my heart I become aware that I am not the only one with needs and problems. (vs 26)

6. When God changes my heart I believe that my success to dealing with my problems lies in God's hands not mine. (vs 29)

God's Love Is Intricate

Let's Rock!

Today was a really super day. Ryan, my youth pastor, picked up my sister and I at 10 am. We made a few stops to pick up paint and then spent the entire day painting the youth room at the church. It looked so good when we finished for the day, but still so much to do! And it was just so great to spend that time with Christian people and have good conversation.

---

This evening I went to my first worship team practice and that was awesome too!! I haven't played bass in a few months, and though my heart ached for Charlie (RIP), if felt great to pull strings again. And the band members are so fun! I'm the youngest, but that doesn't matter. They all totally support my lack of experience (some of them have years on me) and made me feel like a real member. I'm pretty sure they'll keep me around for awhile. :)

---

One of the goals I made is turning out to be a lot more difficult then I had envisioned. The, take care of your body, goal. I had Wendy's for lunch and McDonald's for dinner. Yea. That's nasty. I really need to start following the Canada Food Guide and stop eating so many calories. I also need to drink more water, get more exercise and plan out my sleep pattern better. I have such a long way to go before I get on to a good routine.

---

I got a job... yippee!! But I'm still waiting to hear from them on when I begin. Hopefully by Thursday!!

Revolutionary Love

Isaiah 58:1, 6-8, 9-11

"Shout! with the voice of a trumpet blast.
Shout aloud! Don't be timid.
Tell my people Israel of their sins!
Let the oppressed go free,
and remove the chains that bind people.
Share your food with the hungry,
and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.
Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!
Feed the hungry
and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.
The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring."

Who Is Like Our God?

Ecclesiastes 9:7-10

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto,

drink wine with a robust heart.

Oh yes - God takes pleasure in your pleasure!

Dress festively every morning.

Don't skimp on colours and scarves.

Relish life with the spouse you love

Each and every day of your precarious life.

Each day is God's gift. It's all you get in exchange

For the hard work of staying alive.

Make the most of each one!

Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily!

This is your last and only chance at it,

For there's neither work to do nor thoughts to think

In the company of the dead, where you're most certainly headed.

---

When I woke up this morning, I was cold. And it was the nicest feeling. It was refreshing and the breeze coming in my window blew on my face and when I breathed it in, I could actually feel it fill my lungs. And something inside me jumped. I woke up with an adrenaline rush.

---

God created a beautiful morning and I felt Him around me.

---

This is the day,

this is the day,

that the Lord hath made,

that the Lord hath made.

We will rejoice,

we will rejoice...

And be GLAD in Him!

---

In Ecclesiastes 9, it talks about loving life and taking it for all it's worth. SEIZE life!! Eat bread with gusto! God gets excited when we get excited. When I'm dancing in my room to my praise and worship, even the Beatles, God is dancing right next to me. He loves us being happy. It probably gets Him all giddy inside and I bet he even starts to giggle.

---

One of my goals for this year is to start doing more of the things that really make me happy. In life we're surrounded with things that aren't necessarily enjoyable - school and work, worrying about bills or where our kids are (well, I mean if you had kids... I don't, but if I did, I'd worry)... these things take up all of our thoughts and leave little room for creativity and imagination. We need to become children again. When we were little we put all our faith in our parents and we let them take care of us. Life was great!! We need to give it all up and let someone take care of us. God. Our Father. When we do that, we'll have less to worry about, which will give us more time to do fun things. Whether it's painting, writing, fishing, skate boarding or cooking. If we believe that God can watch our backs while we take some time off, we can relax and have a good time.

---

I'm sure you'd agree that your best friend is more fun to hang out with when they're happy and excited right? Well, the same goes for God. Like a best friend, he's there the whole time, no matter what, but he gets excited when you get excited, and he'll dance with you whenever you want.

Spiritual Treasures

Mt. 6:19-21

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

---

Mt. 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

---

I really appreciate what Jesus is saying in these few verses. He's teaching us not to hold on to the things of the earth, the memories that might bog us down or create pain, or even bring joy and comfort. He wants us to let go of everything we have on the earth so that He can be all we need. Life on earth is temporary, and life in heaven will be worth so much more! God knows what we need, when we need it and how badly we need it. God provides. And His comfort is the most satisfying.

I can tell you in all honesty that you don't need the things of the earth. The books and the Cd's, the over-large wardrobes - I know that life can go on without them. And although I feel like a huge piece of my life was torn out after the accident, I've come to realize that that hole is just creating more space for Jesus! God is all I need! He provides when you need providing for and as long as your faith in Him is strong and your love for life is deep... you will be without worry, and live a really great life.

Week One

It's been a week since I began this trip and it's been an interesting week. I think mainly I've focused on goals and my plans for the future. It's been a good week, but I still have a long way to go.

---

"30 Days with Jesus" by F. LaGard Smith - The Gospels in Chronological Order.

This is what I'm using for my daily devos. It's neat to read about Jesus in order of how things happened... it helps me get a better understanding and glimpse of how Jesus lived.

I'd recommend it to anyone.

---

I think one of my biggest struggles is going to be closing my ears. I shouldn't be listening to some of my favourite music. And what technically is ok to listen to? Just Christian music or is it ok to throw in some other stuff too? I love 70s classics. Love. Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Beatles, Mamas and the Papas... Bob Dylan. The messages that some of these bands offer aren't always the greatest... but does the fact that they are classics make it ok? It shouldn't... music is music right? The message is the message, no matter what era it comes from, I'd be applying it to my life today. Perhaps my plan to live a carefree hippie life should be revised...

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Market Night

The market comes alive at night time. I love it. People dancing on the walks, human robots coming alive for money, buskers playing their music. It's amazing.

---

I think in a way Jesus may have been like a busker. Standing on the side of the road preachin his good news. I'm sure his undescribable glow of a personality would intrigue people to stop, and instead of giving a nickle or a dime, they'd end up giving their lives over.

---

Kinda neat eh?

Growth

Growth comes in lots of forms. A tree getting taller and stronger. A city developing and expanding. A baby taking their first steps. The nerdy kid at school standing up to the bully. A lost soul giving in to the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

---

One of the coolest things I've recently learned is that Jesus went through growth too. I suppose I always just assumed that Jesus, being the son of God, knew everything there was to know and was born having all the answers to our interrogating questions. And in all honesty, Christmas was the only time I thought of Jesus not being an adult. I didn't think about the fact that he had to grow up, just like the rest of us.

---

Mary and Joseph also went through the stages of worrying about their teenager, wondering where he was when he wouldn't show up for a few hours or days - it kind of seems like Jesus was a rebel at times. However, he would most likely be found listening and learning about God somewhere. He was so fascinated about God, even though I believe he always knew he had a special connection with Him.

---

This inspires me. Life is hard. Life is so hard. But the older I get and the more I learn, the more I can see my growth. My growth as a Christian, as an artist, a photographer and a person. The more I grow, the more I want to grow more. The more I learn the more intrigued I am to learn more. Knowing that Jesus felt a craving to know more makes Him more human to me. It makes me feel more connected to the man that died for me. When I hear about Jesus in church or while reading the Parables, its always about how he knew everything. He could answer with a really smart answer that would either leave you dumbfounded or totally inspired to be a better person, and that's totally awesome, but he had to learn to know. And I know I'll never know as much as Jesus, but I can learn and study and be closer to Jesus.

---

I guess what I'm saying is this: To be more like Jesus, one must learn and share what they learn about God and living as a successful Christian. It's a crucial step on the journey to being more like Him. And that should be every Christians goal if they want to live a more intense and dedicated Christian life.

Capture My Heart Again

Sometimes it would just be easier to give in to temptations and sin. Why is that? Why is it so easy to do things that are wrong and sometimes so difficult to do things that are right?

---

This is a challenge for me. And I think of it in extremes. Would I be a martyr for Christ?

What am I willing to give up for my God?

---

What are you willing to give up?

Surrender All

God spoke to me this summer - a few times. And it took a lot for me to be quieted and able to listen. When my parents told me they had been transferred out of Edmonton, I made the decision to stay behind. Nothing was going to convince me to move. At least, that's what I told myself. But God had other plans. I distinctly remember him telling me, "You're going, and there's nothing you can do about it". Strangely enough, I was OK with it. In that moment, I knew, God told me and I had to obey.

---

So the weeks went by and I prepared for my move. I've never been an advocate for change, but deep down I was excited. I knew I needed things to be different in many aspects of my life. I just wasn't content with where I was headed. The day we drove away I can remember feeling harsh pain in my heart, but relief in my entire body. Leaving what I knew, what I loved... I've moved before and it was never easy, but this time it was different. A different connection or something.

---

Leaving my brother was the most difficult part. Our family has always been a tight unit, we needed each other to survive, it was always us against the world and we were losing an integral part of our team. Putting my faith in God at that moment was all I could do to drive away without dieing of heartache. I love my brother more then life.

---

So our journey began. Five days on the road from Edmonton to Ottawa. Back to Ontario, back to the beginning. We arrived in Ottawa on the last day of June, a Saturday. Our new house was new to the army and had no furniture so we went to Wal*Mart and bought blow up mattresses to sleep on. Mine deflated within the first hour, but it was OK, it was an adventure, and I knew soon enough my blankets and teddy bear would be arriving.... well, that was the plan anyway.

---

Our moving truck was supposed to arrive on the Tuesday at eight o'clock in the morning. We waited and waited and finally at about twelve o'clock my dad decided to call the company and find out where they were. A lady answered and my dad asked why they hadn't arrived yet and she said she would call back in a few minutes. An hour or so later, we got the call that changed our lives forever.

---

On July 1st a pick-up truck was traveling down a highway in Winnipeg and collided with a moving truck. It hit the gas tank and exploded, sending flames down the trailer of the truck and igniting the whole vehicle. The drivers jumped and ran for safety and stood watching the truck burn. It burnt for two hours before firemen could arrive at the scene and begin to extinguish the flames. The damage was complete. Nothing remained of the truck except a melted frame stuck to the pavement.

---

Two days later we're told that story. That was our moving truck. Everything we owned we packed up and placed on board. Two days later we found out. Two days after it happened. And only because we called to find out where they were.

---

It's been two months since the accident. We've spent the past two months trying to figure out what had happened and why. Why. Why.

---

This unfortunate turn of events inspired me, and yet again I heard God speak to me clearly. "You have to give it all. Stop holding onto baggage, stop holding onto the things of the world. You need to put your full trust in me. I won't let you down."

---

Project 365 was born. I planned a year of full surrender and Jesus Cleansing. Body, mind, spirit. I have a full year ahead of me with no plans at all other then to work and save. I didn't get in to school because I applied too late, and even though at the time I found that out I was devastated, now I look at it as something great and exciting. I have a full year to do whatever I want. No homework or stresses to clog my mind, just me and Jesus, for 365 days.

---

I'm very excited for it and I'm dedicated and determined to pull through. I'm still not positive on how it will turn out or what crazy things will happen, but I'm so excited to experience the amazing power of God when I learn to Surrender All.

---

Please pray for me. I'm sacrificing a lot to accomplish what I'd like to. I know God is with me and is helping me along everyday, but being human, it's tough to disconnect myself from the evils and damaging things of the world, whether it be in thoughts, actions or words. I'm so determined and so excited.

---

Thank you for your support.

:) Shel

Your Love Is Extravagant

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Cause Your love is extravagant

Chorus:
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known; You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate

Your Surrender

When was the first time you met Jesus? And how much longer after that did it take for you to give your life over to Him?

If You Could Ask God Anything...

What would you ask Him?